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Miss Alabama - Ditz
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever.
-- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest
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Rated 7.4/10 (6394 ratings) Your opinion?
Special Requirements: an ear
Contributed By: foot_corn on 04-06-2000 and Reviewed By: Webmaster
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Tara writes:
Say that 10 times fast
143 of 196 found this helpful. Did you? Yes
moviechic writes:
It does make sense, but the 3 year-old I babysit for could have given a more intelligible and well-thought out answer to that question.
99 of 131 found this helpful. Did you? Yes
Kristina writes:
OK, I hope I have this right. Miss Alabama 1994 was Heather Whitestone, I believe. Correct me if I am wrong. As most Alabamians (like me) know, Heather Whitestone is profoundly deaf. Therefore, she wouldn't know what she is saying is bad grammar (or whatever). Also, she became Miss America that year. To foot corn, you should at least give her credit, whether you knew those facts or not. You are the ditz!
179 of 291 found this helpful. Did you? Yes
Tobideru writes:
I'd like to hear the audio behind this quote, my guess is that the redundancy was caused more by nervousness than by stupidity.
64 of 85 found this helpful. Did you? Yes
bhamblonde writes:
Miss ALABAMA 1994 WAS Heather Whitestone. Miss Alabama USA 1994 was not. They are two seperate pageants. You people who are attributing this dumb quote to Heather are the ditzes. She never said such a thing, and all of her answers were very eloquent and well-worded. The Miss Alabama winner goes on to the Miss America pageant, whereas the Miss Alabama USA winner competes in Miss USA. Then Miss USA goes on to compete in Miss Universe. Get it right people.
35 of 39 found this helpful. Did you? Yes
Brandy writes:
I think that Kristina's comment was correct. That was Heather Whitestone that said that and she did become Miss America that year. Instead of trying to say something negative about her, why don't you take time to realize what she accomplished? She is almost completely deaf yet performed ballet perfectly on time with the music. Most people that can hear could not have danced better than her.
59 of 92 found this helpful. Did you? Yes
DarkBunnyofInle writes:
Sure it makes sense, but it's a little redundant don't you think?
37 of 55 found this helpful. Did you? Yes
Matrix_Forensics_Laboratories writes:
You may all think that this chick has no brains (I did too), but think about it, she answered all points in the question in a funny and catchy way that could be put into a song in the future. It may be more difficult to come up with a catchy answer like that in front of an audience (or whatever) than you think! I'm not saying she's smart, I'm saying there could (I emphasize on the COULD) be more to this slipup than people realize. Or, then again, her answer is longer than her attention span. Whether this was a fluke or a slipup or a direct smart response, we may never know.
46 of 74 found this helpful. Did you? Yes
butterfly39 writes:
First of all, I completely agree with the person who mentioned that she is profoundly deaf. I have a brother who is partially deaf and I know that deaf people's way of speaking is much different than our own and I very seriously doubt that she realized she was being redundant. And as for the smart aleck that brought up Clinton, did you PASS geography??? The last time I checked, Clinton was from Arkansas, not Alabama.
24 of 34 found this helpful. Did you? Yes
together we fight writes:
Why is this a slip-up? I understood it. In my words, it means, "We aren't supposed to live forever, so why would I want to?"
21 of 32 found this helpful. Did you? Yes
Morfeus writes:
After spending so much time studying urban legends, all I can say is: provide a link to the audio clip on-line, or I'll consider this a bogus rumor created to make beauty queens sound dumber than they already are.
28 of 50 found this helpful. Did you? Yes
Bubools writes:
It's actually a really smart comment just said really stupidly.
30 of 55 found this helpful. Did you? Yes
Alittlereason writes:
To those protesting that Miss Alabama 1994 was Heather Whitestone, you are correct in that. She was for the MISS AMERICA pageant. This was given during the MISS USA pageant. Miss Alabama USA 1994 was Malaea Nelms.
4 of 4 found this helpful. Did you? Yes
Bubba BoBaBrain writes:
"The Bible"? Where does that come into it? She never mentions the Bible or any moral issues with eternal life (on earth...).
21 of 39 found this helpful. Did you? Yes
HAHA writes:
All you people are saying that she was nervous because of all the cameras and stuff, but she knew that she would have to go through all that and the audience and everything so that is not a good excuse. I do not think it was a slip-up either cause to get in you have to be smart and have good grades a stuff to get in. Anyways i think she just did not think about what she said and that it came out all wrong.
12 of 23 found this helpful. Did you? Yes
hassan writes:
This is not a slip-up. It is a coherent argument, albeit not a sound one. It can be analyzed as follows: 1) If we were supposed to live forever, we would live forever. 2) But we do not (as of now) live forever. 3) Therefore we should not live forever. 4) Therefore, I would not live forever (even if I found the means of doing so). If scientists were to stumble upon a method for, say, stopping the process of ageing, or uploading our consciousness into some sort of super-computer to make us immortal, you would find a lot of religious people making this very argument. The problem lies in the first premise, which reeks of strong moral positivism, and is guilty of the "naturalistic fallacy". Take a look at this article:
0 of 0 found this helpful. Did you? Yes
KC writes:
I don't think this is a Slip-up. I'm sure if you were up there on that stage in front of all of those people you would be nervous too. Her answer makes sense, she just shortened it. What's wrong with that?
12 of 29 found this helpful. Did you? Yes
andrewmccarthyfan writes:
I don't think that this is really a slip-up. I mean, she answered the question and it makes sense if you think about it, even if it does take a minute to figure out what she meant. And even if it doesn't TOTALLY make sense, I'd like to see how all of you would do if you had to be on stage in front of a huge crowd on a show that is broadcasted on television, and be asked questions that you aren't prepared to answer. Let's see how many times you "slip up".
12 of 33 found this helpful. Did you? Yes
DaMan writes:
To the commentor who defends this slip up by saying that she was deaf, tone deaf, partially deaf, or whatever deaf...You don't need to be deaf to understand what you are saying out of your own mouth doesn't make sense. It's one thing to talk to loud because you can't hear your tone, but to answer a question like an idiot is not controlled by the ear, but the brain that she seemed to lack. And the fact that she won doesn't appeal to her intellegence, but the lack of intellegence of the judges.
5 of 19 found this helpful. Did you? Yes
Nik writes:
Sounds pretty dumb to me! I showed this to my English teacher before break. After she stopped laughing, she said if this were her student, they'd get a big fat F.
20 of 55 found this helpful. Did you? Yes
Drake writes:
Clinton comes from...
14 of 45 found this helpful. Did you? Yes

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